It’s Sunday morning, you’ve just woken up and the first thing you experience is that old familiar sinking feeling. You turn and look at your other-half sleeping, but not as quietly as you would like, and hopelessness fills your heart. The rain on the window just confirms where you are at; another day in the gloom that is your relationship.
You lay there wishing with all your heart that it was different. ‘Is this it?’ you say silently, ‘Am I one day going to die knowing that this was all there was for me?’
You hear your kids jumping down the stairs; your cue to go and make breakfast. You get dressed and try to pull yourself out of your thoughts whilst scrambling the eggs.
Right, okay and I understand because I have been there too but take it from me if you remain with that thought process you are going to stay there!
So, here’s a list of what you do and then I will get on to how you do it 🙂
- Realise that you are never going to change him without first changing yourself. When men detect a difference in their women it’s like their territory has been invaded and they tend to sit up and take notice.
- If you are prone to nagging, STOP! It won’t be getting you anywhere and you aren’t enjoying the way it makes you feel. Men just see it as a cross they have to bear and tune out of it most of the time.
- If you are not doing this already, start taking responsibility for your own finances.
- If you are in a low paid job think about how you can improve on this. Put forward your case for promotion, if you need further education get it but absolutely do not think this is your lot in life!
- Make sure you look your best most of the time. Gloomy Sunday mornings won’t feel any better if you look in the mirror and see the sad version of you. You know, the version wearing yesterday’s knickers and the top with the grease stain on it.
- Get your man to do his share of the chores. Yes…I can hear you laughing but I did say this was the what and will get to the how shortly!
- Make a list of the things you would like to do with your other-half. And I don’t mean put your hands around his neck! I mean go out for a meal, spend an evening cuddled up on the sofa, have an early night 😉 go to the cinema; those kind of things.
- Make a list of what you think your other-half would like to do and make a note of which of those things you feel you can tolerate. In that way you can appear to have acquired a sense of fairness towards his hobbies/passions which will lower his defensiveness towards you.
- If you like going out with your girlfriends then do that at least once a week. You, looking great and walking out the door without him will definitely create a blip on his radar.
- Understand that if you want the relationship to work it requires give and take. Is he really totally to blame for where you are now?
Number 10 on the above list is really important. If you believe that you other-half is totally to blame and there is no way you can make any further concessions then may be your relationship has gone too far down the line and is coming to an end.
Now that doesn’t mean you have to end it this very moment. In fact, please don’t do that until you have an exit strategy!
While you are formulating your exit strategy you could try implementing some of the above suggestions. At the very least they will make you feel great about yourself and you never know, he might just get the message and up his game.
Once you have taken on board WHAT you can do to get the relationship you crave, go to the second post in this series to find out HOW and get your GET THE RELATIONSHIP YOU CRAVE! cheat-sheet that will make all this seem effortless to your other-half!
OR just claim your GET THE RELATIONSHIP YOU CRAVE! cheat-sheet now! It’s FREE 🙂
And if you are a woman in your 20s come and join the conversation in my Facebook Group: The Miss Guides for 20-Something Women Who Seek Deeper Meaning!
We need YOU in there!